Still not pregnant rant

Cassie
Period arrived today. 9 months has now gone by and I'm still not preg. I don't understand this fucking fertility shit! I have done absolutely EVERYTHING in the fertility book this month. 
1. I didn't check my cervix ( only three times over the month! ) which was a massive challenge in itself 
2. I went on 20-30 min Walks everyday this month except for 4 days which two of them were rainy days.
3. I ate the right foods weekly to match what phase I was in. 
4. I spent so much money on organic foods
5. I basically lives off vegetables and smoothies and nuts
6. I did meditations and stressed less
7. I had a fucking HSG
8. I ovulated with smiley opk's
9. I had sex at the perfect times even during the day when My man conveniently was sick off work - my fertile week! 
10. I had no fucking junk food except for this weekend
11. Had warm lemon water and water only - no other drinks were consumed except for two hot chocolates this month
12. I wore warm clothes And socks every night during my Luteal phase 
13. I took my pills religiously everyday without fail 
What the fuck is wrong with me 😭 this is seriously so fucked up. I can't believe it. Why is this happening to me. Why can't I do it?
The months are so long and it's getting too hard. I'm losing motivation again. I don't think I can handle the heart break anymore. 
I'll now be up to March/April for due dates. That means I'll have a 5-6 month old at our wedding.... I really didn't want any younger then 6 months. I'm so fucking upset and angry and nothing anyone says is going to fix this feeling. Going to have to book another appointment with My specialist  which is going to cost even more money and my man will now have to follow through and get his third sperm test done next week. 😭 I don't know what the next step would be :( 
Probably clomid or <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">iui</a>.. Fuck this. 
I'm concerned about the spotting I'm getting before my periods due cause this month it was a whole week before periods due. Surely that's gotta be low progesterone? 
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR SOO MAD - sorry for the vent.