So I'm not sure if it's OK to talk here about this but 6 years ago I was raped then In 2012 I had a smear which was all clear than In 2014 I had my beautiful baby girl. I was in a lot of pain anytime my husband and I made love, I thought at first maybe it was because my baby my born my emergency c-section so I gave it a few more months to heal correctly then 6 months after my baby was born I had a smear turns out my cervix was split down the side and I had cin 3 of hpv I was so shocked so they took a biopsy in 2015 and I find out I have cerivcal cancer almost 3 year since my last smear. Then I get told my court case is going ahead the same month as my operation so case gets pushed back for a couple of months. My rapist walked free not enough evidence. Then I find out the cancer is back. I feel like I'm being punished for a crime he committed. I feel like I'm trapped in the dark fighting these invisible fights. I'm frightened I'll never have more children or worse not be around for my daughter. This is the first time I've ever spoken about this as I'm not sure what to say but I do urge you lovely ladies to get tested. I did and I'm still fighting but I'm also trying to stay strong.If you read this thank you. I needed to get this out the pain of it all feels like it's crushing me and I don't want to live that way. Please mind yourselves x