Horrible Baby Fever, BF doesn't get it...

Hi everyone! I just feel the need to vent. I live alone aside from my boyfriend on a farm and have literally no one to talk too about stuff... Does anyone else just get crazy baby fever!? We lost a baby at 7 weeks in October (no idea I was pregnant until I had misscarried!) I had never even thought of pregnancy because I've been on the pill for over a year ! But it's given me crazy baby fever! To top it off my sister just had a baby (my twin) and all my friends have kids or are pregnant.... I've had three misscarriages as a teen. One at 16, one at 18 and one at 19. All while on BC Pill! So I constantly feel like I can't have kids and it's killing me... I wish I was pregnant ever month even though I know I won't be because I never miss a pill! I try to explain it to my boyfriend and he gets mad he doesn't understand why the desire to have a baby is so bad. I literally cry looking at my nephew and every pregnant friend... I'm so happy for them but so upset that my sweet Gabriel died before we could ever meet him... Along with my other two angels! I just can't handle feeling so depressed about it... Any advice on how to cope a bit easier?!