Still so unhappy

I'm not post partum depression. Maybe I was but I think I got better with that. I've felt this way for over 15 years. Still hate myself. Still cutting and trying to to destroy my pathetic self.

Wanted a baby. Had one. Feeling awful For having him. He deserves more than I can Give him.

I'm pathetic and a waste. Everything would be much better off without me. I'm so tired and exhausted of feeling so dead on the inside. So tired of fighting alone.