I am so sick of doctors, nurses, friends, family, and strangers treating me like I'm an incubator and that's it. This incubator has a name, a brain, a body all her own. I'm more than 37 weeks pregnant and I'm done being pregnant. Mentally, this has been the hardest journey I've ever taken. Physically, this has been just as tough. From day 1, I've been told I'll lose him, not to get too attached. From week 23, they told me we may have him and to be prepared. I'm now past the 37 week marker and he's a big boy and I'm done. Mentally, the pain of contractions is going to cause me to lose it. Why? Because regardless of everything, I will HAVE to have a c-section. I have no alternatives. But to have him here early means contractions 3-5 minutes apart. To have him early means being reminded of what a failure my body is. And I'm supposed to be just happy and smiles and rainbows? I'm supposed to pretend that I'm okay with the back pain, cramps, bloody show? No. Not going to happen. I'm angry. Why is it that the incubator's needs are so quickly and so easily forgotten or pushed aside? I'm so done. I'm so tired of it all. Blame it on my melodramatic personality, my lack of patience, fine. Just don't dismiss it, or me.