Was or is this body shaming? I need help apologizing.

Question

So I'm all for loving yourself, be what you want and who cares what you look like but my friend was uncalled for! 
I workout regularly and I try my hardest to keep in shape! I've been over weight most of life and now I've changed it! Went from 300 down to 150 pounds and now only have 15-10 pounds left to lose. I feel great and the healthiest I've ever been! I take a lot of pride in what I've done and it wasn't easy and it has taken almost 4 years to do! Anyways. 
Today I was at lunch with a friend I've haven't seen in about 2 years and she comments that I look great and I say thank you and move along the conversation to about her. 
 Getting to the point, we order lunch and order burgers because they sounded really good! Then she said " You're on diet, still right. You can't eat that, why didn't you order a salad? Skinny girls only eat salads, burgers are real food and can make you fat, salads will keep skinny! You should really have order a salad." I was deeply offended. Then out of my mouth before I could stop myself " Why didn't you order a salad, since your bra is big as my ass!" Then I walked away from the table went to the till, paid and left. 
I feel really bad, now and I want to send I'm sorry card but don't know how to say sorry. Or if I should even apologize? Help!!

Answer

Ooooohhh burn, I mean I wouldn't but that's just me. What she was saying was really shitty. If you feel that bad about it, tell her you are sorry and explain why you said that and how she made you feel.,

Answer

You both were rude. YOU overreacted though. It could've been a sinple joke, or could've been handled like an adult and talked about. I would end a friendship over someone saying shit to me like that and walking out without talking about it like adults.

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Wow... she might have been messing around. Me and my friends do all the time. You should have educated her instead of being pissed about it.

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I wouldn't apologize. She was out of line. Maybe she thought it was a compliment l. Personally, i enjoy burgers and salads.

Answer

I've had a lot of weight issues in the past and I still struggle to stay thin sometimes. When someone makes a comment about my weight it really offends me and hurts me. I've had a friend say something like that to me once and I got really angry. I actually did walk away from the table without saying anything though. I talked to her later about it and told her I didn't like what she said and all that. She's never said something like that since. She was trying to make a joke about what I was eating (I ordered a pasta dish and she commented on how I was going to out on all the weight I'd lost recently) but it was in very poor taste. Personally I think that she was jealous about the weight I'd lost as well and wasn't thinking straight when she said that.

So I'd say talk to her. Appologise for what you said (I do it in person if I were you) and explain that she offended you with that comment. Talk about it and see what she meant by it. You were rude so she deserves an appology but so do you. I personally think it's really rude to comment on someone's weight even if it's to say they're super skinny- it can hurt just as much as calling someone fat sometimes. Just talk to her about how you felt and apologize for what you said in the heat of the moment. Most likely it'll all blow over and be just fine.

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Uhh why didn't you just say you didn't feel like salad.

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So I apologize to her. We talked on the phone for a while. I told her why I was upset. She completely understood why I went psycho. She also said my snippy comeback was really funny! She's glad I'm no longer meek, and that I can stand up for myself. We've been friends for about 15 years and when you're only 20 ( she's 23) its a long time. 
  Turns out she's feels really bad, and her anger had nothing to do with me, at all. I don't know why she lefted out a very important detail about her filing for divorce. Her soon to be Ex husband cheated on her and left her for a "fitter version" turns out to be his client that he trains ( he's a personal trainer). So she wasn't happy to begin with but still went to lunch, in hopes she might have a better day? 
 She and I promised that we'll only bring up salads when we want too. Thank you for helping me with this! We can learn salads aren't the answer, when you're skinny.

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Honestly I wouldn't be too mad if someone called me skinny, and told me skinny girls should eat salad to stay skinny. I mean, it's a weird comment but I personally don't see how it's offensive.

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I'm sorry, that's hilarious.

In all seriousness though I don't know if I would apologize. Why did she need to comment on your order at all? Without hearing the tone for ourselves, we're forced to decipher it through words on a screen and some people may read it in a joking tone, I personally read it in a rude tone. How did she mean it? I joke around with my friends all the time, she may have been kidding around. None of us really know. I would apologize for taking it so seriously and storming off, but not for the words. That's too funny.

Answer

I don't know your relationship but that would be something like if my girl friends works day to me to keep me honest when I was actively losing weight.  Losing weight is hard work,  and most of it is diet,  and we all have weak moments.  I rely on my friends to help me through those weak moments by saying things to remind me to not have an unhealthy meal.

However,  your friend's information is not quite accurate.  Not all salads are healthy, and if the burger was a lean one,  it could be a better choice.

Was or is this body shaming? I need help apologizing.

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