20-something and Divorced.
I had a whirlwind romance with this charismatic guy. It was nothing short of perfect. I was his queen, his Barbie doll, and he made me feel like the luckiest girl in the world.
But then once we got serious, and once he knew I was committed to him for life his manipulation began. (Grooming as my IDVA calls it.) At first subtle, backed by logic. Warped but logic nonetheless.
"Oh he loves me, that's why he's jealous or exes, and male friends!"
"Oh he's telling me how to dress because he wants me to look my best."
"Things in his family are different from mine, how thoughtful of him to have the patience to mold me to fit better!"
Now fast-forward to after our marriage...
I'm isolated, away from home, unable to talk to anyone. I must do things as he says or else he will be angry again.
"He hits me in his anger, it's not him though, he's a nice guy, it's just the rage, or may be the cannabis that makes him paranoid, or his drinking problem, his sister is a bit of a witch and keeps filling his ears too, it could be that..."
"But I did everything as per his instructions this time, I didn't even utter a single word..."
"Not just him, even his parents can see my flaws, it has to be me."
"Wait a second... When and how did I became the mental one!?"
A year and a half since the commencement of our courtship, and I was struggling with the age old question - "should I stay or should I go?"
You'll be thinking what a stupid girl, "leave! Now!"
"You don't even have kids yet, so why stay, why endure their bullshit?"
Here's why, I'm 26. I hardly lasted 6 months in my marriage. The stigma attached to a divorce is too much to cope with.
"Help me, please!"
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