Waiting to miscarry. Again.

Pauline šŸŒˆ ā€¢ Eleven angels in heaven. "Somewhere, over the rainbow, skies are blue..."
My first hcg blood draw was a 9. Super low, but hey, it's the second number that counts...6 days later, my hcg is a 28. Not looking good. Basically I'm waiting for the spotting to start so that we can move on and try again. 4/5 loss (one unconfirmed miscarriage years ago). My doc has no idea why my levels just don't climb. This cycle I took letrozole and progesterone after ovulation. I'm afraid that we will never be siccessful and that if we ever are, I won't be able to feel excitement or attachment. I'm too afraid of losing my baby to "feel" anything. šŸ˜¢ this whole thing just sucks.