I did it and it feels like hell.

My and my SO have been together on and off for almost 2 years. Even when we weren't technically together we were still together. I know everything about him as he knows everything about me. Hes been their for me at my lowest as i have for him. His family considers me apart of the feeling even his sister calls me her sister in law and introduces me as such. My family love him and the biggest thing is that hes the 1st man ever around my kids since their father 5 years ago.

Hes not the greatest as he calls me names, he has hit me b4. He says im ugly n yesterday i finally had enough.

I told him i was done with the back and forth bs as he wont claim me or fight 4 us i cant fight for us either. I finally stood up for myself and it felt good. But as soon as i did and i was thinking i felt bad and felt like i need to call him and say i love you. I cant i want him to fight 4 me like ive fought 4 him. Everything in my room reminds me of him and it sux. Because we do everything together.

Please tell me im not wrong. Sorry just need advice and support.