I feel so jealous and angry all the time.

Ive got one little girl and i have had two miscarriages recently.

Now everyone around me is pregnant and its getting me down. One being my close friend. She literally shifts every conversation onto her pregnancy. She only calls me so she can talk about herself. Worst thing is, this baby was planned without her partner knowing. She actually poked holes in the condoms. She even told me. It just gets me so angry that theres so many women out there that are desperate for a baby (including myself) and she does things like that, gets pregnant instantly and now rubs it in my face.

Am i horrible person for being so angry and jealous? I probably should be happy for my friend but i just cant.