Yesterday we had a small gathering here at the house. It seemed like the one question all my girlfriends wanted me to answer was "How does it feel like to be a mom?". Of course I gave them the most honest answer I could express at the time "it's the most exhausting, wonderful, and rewarding thing in the world! I never knew it was possible to be so tired and yet so overwhelmingly happy at the same time!". When I went to bed last night, this question stuck in my head. What does it really feel like to be a mother? After all, I've only been parenting for 6 weeks. I feel like I became a mother the moment I found out I was pregnant. My whole world changed the moment I saw that positive on that test. It was a feeling that words can't describe. I was responsible for another life. It wasn't just about me anymore... And I was completely fine with that! Pregnancy was the most amazing, nerve wrecking, and beautiful thing I have experienced. Parenting, like I said before, it's exhausting and yet so rewarding at the same time. So what does it feel like to be a mom? Here we go... 

I'm tired. I'm also tired of being tired. My husband tells me I need to start sleeping when the baby sleeps. Although this is true, I fight it. I know one day I'll get all the sleep I want because he won't live with us anymore. I'm sad that he is growing up so fast. I'm also happy that he is growing up and checking off all the milestones as he should be. Some days I feel like I'm loosing my shit. It doesn't help when other moms put me down for doing things different than what they did. I quickly shake it off because I have to keep it together, even if all I want to do is break down and cry. I've learned that a good mom has bad days, great days, normals days, overwhelming days (so many of those), perfect days, and trying days. What do all those days have in common? An overwhelmingly perfect amount of cuddles and love. I have also learned that having a bad day, doesn't make me a bad mom. Those moms that put me down... Guess what? I know we are all loosing our shit. Some of us are just better at hiding it. But why hide it? I am humble enough to admit I haven't mastered it all. I have made and will continue to make mistakes. At the end of the day I have realized I am proud of many things, but nothing beats how proud I am that I get to be his mommy.  I'm grateful that I have him in my life. He wasn't supposed to happen. We worked so hard to have him. He is my miracle baby.