Total head fuck

Okay so I'm on the depo shot and my period on this app is considered 19 days late, I am fully aware that this is a guess and that my period is probably fucked up from my depo. Anyways the reason I've got a total head fuck is that I now have a lot of symptoms of pregnancy. I found out in March I was pregnant and ended up having a termination due to lack of financial resources, my boyfriend would've left me and my parents wouldn't have even want to meet my baby. How we I'm totally confused and will be buying a test today but if k am pregnant I'm getting this happy feeling deep down. I don't regret what I did as its so not right right now so why am I feeling a little happy if I am pregnant? I don't want any pro life people or judging me for what I have done I just want someone to explain why I'm feeling this way. If I am pregnant I 100% do not believe I could have another termination. I just want some emotional/ head help please xx