I had a miscarriage over two years ago and have been unable to get pregnant since. I am getting to the point where I am starting to lose hope. If I do finally get pregnant, I don't think I will allow myself to feel excited as I will be so afraid of losing that pregnancy too. I also just found out that someone I know who was pregnant when I was, and our due dates were a week apart, is now pregnant with her second baby and I still can't even make one baby. Why does this have to be so hard, and why do I have to get sucker punched in the gut every month?

**Update** Just to respond to some questions. I am seeing a naturopath who specializes in infertility. I have tested positive for 2 MTHFR mutations and COMT mutations. My hormone levels are off, I have endometriosis and I have only 1 ovary with 2 cysts in it. We are treating everything as best as we can and she has me on hormone supplements plus a variety of vitamins and herbs.