What the actual fuck🙀🙀

I'm 20 and my ex husband is 21 we where dating from we where 12 got engaged at 16 marriaged at 18.
As he was my first boyfriend I thought physical and emotional was normal for relationships so when it started happing to me at 12 I didn't know any better I just thought I wasn't doing my job right, 
So when me and my husband got together his mum would never sit beside him or never really just talk to him but I just though they didn't get on and my husband never ever said anything about it so I thought I was just seening problems that weren't there so fast forward until I was 18. My mother in law had a very sick baby girl. me and Peter went to go see her she was gorgeous but they said she might die but she got stronger and was aloud to go home. 
Then about a week after she went home from hospital my husband came my mum and dads house at 4 am ( our house wasn't finished getting done up so I went to my family home and he went to his ) so my dad got the door and let him in didn't ask anything just let him come in locked the doors and went back to sleep so when he came to my house I asked him what or you doing here then he started to batter me to make it worse he got horny over it so he raped me then got into bed and went to sleep so I thought omg I shouldn't of asked him so when he didn't go back to his mums house I didn't ask. 
Skip a year we moved into our own home and lots of people started coming to tell me about Peter fighting in town but what could I do I would never be able to tell him that I new so I didn't say I word I just said to the people who came to the door. Needless to say the abuse I got just keep getting worse but I said nothing until a man came to the door while Peter was at work and he said im very sorry I have to do this but your husband is abusing my dog pulling its nails out ( along with things I don't want to post😭 ) so I said to the man I am so very sorry but I can't do anything if u really must to the cops. A week later the same man was back he said we need to talk so I let him in and made him tea but as I was making it he could see my scars and bruises he said your husband had a mental health problem when he was 3 until he was 7 he had to go live in a hospital in the city I don't think you are awear r u and I sat down in shock,  I wanted to know why but he didn't no so just said that's how he new it was my husband doing all these things to his dog and got a video of him walking in the back yard, the man went to the cops went to court so on 
I found out I was pregnant 2 months later I was so happy so I told Peter he battered me until I lost my baby 😭😭 my week later I though this is it so I went to my mum and dad told them everything I got a divorce 😄
It's now 6 months later and my ex mother in law is just of the phone she hasn't talk to me in well over a year but so said to me remember after milly ( her baby that was sick) was born and I said yeah she said well I went into to check she was sleeping and I found Peter covering her face with a teddy dear her face was going blue and he was crying saying if he killed her now she will never know pain. I started being sick because I was so scared I was married to him. I said to my ex mother in law was he in hospital when he was younger and she said yes I just felt my heart stop she said he use to abuse me and he tried to stab me one day 😷😷 that was it I out the phone down and started screaming and crying its
 3 in the morning here it's nearly been 12 hours and I still can't think wtf 🙀🙀
( please no hate and I left school and 13 for home school I never got so i tried my best to write this best I can sorry if you don't understand)Â