I want this to be my rainbow so bad!

I'm 9DPO. I just delivered my stillborn son on April 26th, and the maternal energy I have pent up is killing me. I miss my son, and I think he'd want me to continue to try to have a family. Ive heard these pregnancy tests aren't sensitive at all and most reviews I read said they didn't get a positive until 2 days past their missed period, but I've had a few symptoms that I've never had in my life other than when I was pregnant, and i couldn't help myself. I swear I can see the faintest, almost invisible line, so I'm really really hoping this could be my rainbow. I dipped a strip in water and didn't get the same faint faint faint line, so maybe? What do you guys think? I feel like I'm losing my mind waiting to find out, AF is due on the 20th.

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