I don't want to give up but I'm tired

Angie
So this is my story I've been married with my husband for 4 years been boyfriend and girlfriend for 15 years. About 6 years ago we decided that we wanted to try and get pregnant I noticed I was having trouble getting pregnant I went to go see a doctor and the doctor told me I was fat that I needed to lose weight but when I was younger I was a little bit skinnier than what I am now and I never use protection and never got pregnant. June 2nd I went to see this lady about her doing a massage to my body and to my stomach to see if that could help ( Mexican thoery) I got my period on June 12th and July 12th I didn't get it. But I know I'm a regular so I'm waiting to see if I could just wait out to the end of this month and take a pregnancy test but last night I had a dream that I was taking a pregnancy test and it was inconclusive so when I woke up I had to go pee so bad and I remember I had a pregnancy test and I said you know what it's been why not I've been late 3 days maybe I am pregnant so I took it praying to God that I was pregnant this time but when I saw NOT PREGNANT I started crying balling sobbing because I just though this id not fair why God why I can't I be a mother so I'm here in my room just feel despair and I want to tell my story.