Being left out because I'm pregnant?

Question

I have a couple of "friends" who are both single. I'm 3 and a half months pregnant and happy with my fiancé. These friends have been planning stuff like nights out etc without even asking me, it's like now i am pregnant I'm no good to them anymore. What should I do?

Accepted Answer

Get used to it unfortunately. Your life has already changed drastically. Many, if not all, of your friends will disappear from your life. It's just a byproduct of having children. Join a prenatal fitness class or something like that and make new friends. I'm not saying stop having any contact with your old friends, you just have to understand that you don't have the same priorities anymore.

Answer

This situation and all the comments are terrible. Abandoning a friend because she's  pregnant is douchy. Abandoning friends because you're pregnant is equally douchy. Friends should be making every effort to support each other through every phase of life and accommodate each other. It goes both ways.

Your friends should be including you in things. Even if it means being the DD when they drink, or doing something where consuming alcohol isn't a necessity.

I have friend who are currently pregnant, have just given birth, and my husband and I are working on our first. On top of that, my best friend of 25 years isn't having childen by choice. I'm not going to throw away 25 years of friendship over a baby. We all stick together.  I guess some people don't value friendship anymore.

Answer

You said it yourself, they're single (and not pregnant)... Do you honestly think they'll think you'd have a good time drinking and dancing at a club or going to a bar? Let's just be honest here. You're pregnant; it doesn't mean you're chopped liver to them now, but you can't do the same things they're doing. You're gonna tell me you'd be all gung-ho about getting drinks then going out all night?? Honestly?? You can't drink, for one; two, you're barely in your second trimester,  how are you not tired by 8? Lol... Listen, it's not that you're no good to them, if anything take it as they don't want to be dragging you around and being inconsiderate. Why don't you invite them to do things you want/can do?.... Besides, if they're single and going out to have fun (possibly meet someone or sth) it'd be kinda awkward having a pregnant wingman... JS 😂😂

Answer

Once baby comes you won't have much time  or energy to go out with them. They can include you and continue i.e. To be part of your life, or be immature and go away now.

Answer

I had that same complaint. After being left out for months, finally, they invited me out. I was about 20 something weeks pregnant. We went to a bar. I was so uncomfortable and tired. We sat on these bar stools and it was only 8pm but I was so exhausted. The smell of food and alcohol just made me want to throw up. Needless to say, I have never asked to go out again. We are all still friends but things have changed. *no I wasn't drinking at the bar. I had no clue where we going to eat.*

Answer

Yes , once I started having kids it really weeded out the friends that I had that were not "real" friends. Some family and friends will not understand that you still would like to be invited even if you might not feel like going or that you might not be able to go. (When you have your baby/babies). I understand!!

Answer

I disagree with a lot of these comments. Yes, you MIGHT lose some friends because of pregnancy and baby. But you also might lose friends by getting married, taking a new job, moving, or finding other hobbies. But your good friends will probably stay your friends through life changes.

I was the last of my friends to have kids but we just changed what we did when theirs popped out. I still had other friends I went out with. When I went to med school I could have lost a ton of friends -- I hardly see anyone anymore. But when we do get together it doesn't feel like there's so much time and space there.

Maybe you should pick some activities and do the inviting? If you want to go out and not drink maybe they just need to know that. They might just be assuming you won't be interested.

Answer

It's normal. You lose a lot of "friends" over your pregnancy singles have other interests and that's okay you ll find other mum friends whom you have much more in common with

Answer

I feel the same way. I've actually lost lots of friends. I'm 7 months pregnant and the people I call my best friends keep telling me I'm no good and I suck because I'm pregnant and I ruined their summer. When they told me that, last night as a matter of fact I just responded with "I haven't stopped anything and you guys can still go out". "And that's how you feel stop calling me you don't call any other time. Hater"!!!! That's that! I'm sure I've lost them as well....But I don't know how to please them or if it's even worth it?!.

Answer

Talk with them. They might just be assuming you would think it was rude for them to drink when you can't, or figure you aren't feeling up for it.

I have friends in all stages of their lives (single, dating, married, prgnant, with kids) and the only thing that matters is our friendship and that we want to be in each others lives no matter what and celebrate all that together. So don't believe everyone who says that you need all new friends. Some people do drift apart in this situation but not everyone, if the friendship is strong enough it won't matter.

Being left out because I'm pregnant?

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