Background when I got pregnant the first time I was 17 had just graduated HS and my baby daddy left me for another woman. There were no happy moments, no "he's kicking!" No headphones over the belly. None of that. I then placed the baby for adoption. The labor was induced and all natural (my choice) and honestly it wasn't that bad. I remember it well and the pain was nothing i couldn't handle. But now I'm 22, in love and engaged to the man of my dreams and I desperately want a baby. But I've been reading up on newborns all day and the more I learn the less I want all the things I thought I wanted. Breastfeeding sounds painful, diaper changes sound messy, the first few weeks sound tireless. I'm really turned off of the idea of a baby but I still love the idea of being pregnant. My fiancé would be so sweet, we'd take cute pictures, go to the dr together, have a baby shower. But now that I think about it I'm afraid I only want to be pregnant because I have someone around who would stay with me while I'm carrying their child 🙄🙄 I would love to be a mother of a toddler or teenager and eventually an adult but a newborn sounds stressful and labor sounds more painful than I remember. I have no idea what I want anymore. Fiancé and I would love to adopt but we also want a baby that's us, if that makes sense. It's just a lot of work. Maybe we just aren't ready