All this past week, I've tried to have sex with my husband. Sex has never been comfortable for me, but I'll endure the pain. My husband would get mad because I'm never the one to get things started and says that if it weren't for him mentioning it, we'd never have sex. I'm not going to lie, I typically don't get things started because I don't like hurting. I was 30 years old and a virgin when we got married. I figured the pain was just because it was our first time, but the pain never went away. We've tried lubes and toys and nothing helps. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy part of it... just not the end. The only way my husband can ejaculate is in doggy style. It's excruciating pain. He knows this but pounds away anyway. The tears always come, but I stay quiet because otherwise he'll stop and be mad that he didn't "get his".

Well, all week long, I hinted to him about having sex (I still get in the mood, I just don't care for the last few minutes of it). Everyday he said he was too tired... so we didn't do anything. He took me out on a date Saturday (which hasn't happened in months). It was nice and we got home from supper about 7:30. I thought we might do something then, but he went straight to bed telling me he was tired. He hadn't done anything all day. Well today (Sunday) he has been in the bathroom all day long... literally, he went in there around 1pm and here is is 4a.m. (Monday) and he is still in there. He only came out long enough to eat supper. He's in there jacking off to porn! I'm 28 weeks pregnant and already so emotional with these hormones, but it really hurts my feelings. To be honest, I'm pissed! He is too tired all week long to have sex with his wife (it wouldn't of took 10 minutes), but he's not too tired to jack off to porn for practically 15 hours straight! He didn't even ask me to have sex. He says he doesn't understand why it upsets me... really? I feel like most men would rather have sex anyday, than having to jack. In the 14 months, we've been married, we'll have sex multiple times a week. He's always jacked to porn some (which has always hurt my feelings) but this is the first week that he didn't make any effort and I did. I tried several times. I feel like I'm not good enough for him. I feel like he doesn't want me, which hurts because I've never felt secure in myself before, but the more pregnant I get, the more beautiful I feel. My belly has grown, but I've steadily lost weight (no need to worry, baby is fine. Morning sickness just hasn't been kind to me or eased up any). Does my husband not feel attracted to me anymore? He just says I'm overreacting. I don't feel that I am. What do y'all think?