well, rape.

Hello, I've been trying to find the appropriate place to talk about this, and I guess this is probably the best place. I'm 17 years old and for the past 5 years or so, I have become mildly uncomfortable around my male family members, and I was terrified to realize a while ago, while thinking about those who I trust and all, that I don't trust my dad or my brother sexually. I had had the thought, there is no way they could have or would do anything to me in that way, but I realized that I'm really not sure. There's always been this thought in the back of my head that it has happened before, and I've always rejected it, insisting to myself that there's no way. Throughout the past couple years I have also been having dreams, sometimes reoccurring, about sexual abuse, and it seems as if it's happening more recently as time goes on. Rape has always been a very sensitive subject for me, even though I can't specifically remember anything happening to me. I was wondering if anyone else experiences this vague sense of a past of sexual abuse, because the more and more I think about it, I've realized it's very likely I repressed it, disassociated it with my conscious mind and it's just coming back to me in dreams and those small, quiet thoughts in the back of my mind that I have spent so long denying. This terrifies me.