Where do I start ? We were together for a year and four months and I lost my virginity to him. Everything was fine and dandy in the beginning of our relationships like all , but then he started lying to me and ditching me for his friends to smoke weed. Let this be known i am not against smoking weed ,but my only issue was he wasn't a productive smoker. I understand I am not able to control anyone's actions besides myself but I felt that if he wanted to be with me he would've stopped . Time and time again I would catch him lying to me about who he was with or where he went so we split up . After about a couple of weeks he came back to me and begging me saying I was right and that he was going to stop for good. Truthfully I don't think he ever stopped and I can't blame him because he used to tell me it helped him cope and both his step mom and father are avid smokers. He failed a drug test after he claimed 6 months of being clean and time time again I kept making excuses or exceptions.  On various occasions in his car,backpack, the only problem is he does share the car with his dad and step mom so I never knew what to believe I'd find clear eyes and lighters in his possession but never found weed. He always had some excuse how it was never him and how he would never do that. But recently he decided he was done with me doubting him when the only time I ever doubted him was when I saw proof . I'm so distraught and have no idea how to cope because this was my first real boyfriend and not that I always believed that we were going to be together but I loved him. He seems like he's out living t up going back to his drug addict friends and saw him on the next day on tinder. He deleted me of insta and Twitter that day and I feel as if I meant nothing to him. How do I get over him with so much history? I know he did a lot of fucked up things to me it may seem but for some reason I still care . I understand by me trying to get him to stop and stop talking to his friends that were bad influences made him someone he was not and I know I'm not his mother but those were my stipulations of he wanted to be with me. I'm so sorry I'm venting. Please some advice will help and please no mean comments .