BEATINGS & SPANKING CHILDREN ? What's your thoughts & stories of how you were raise & how you will raise your children ?

When I was a baby like 3, I use to get beating with a hand on my butt. Then ages 4 & up I would be getting beat with a belt & the heel of shoes. Certain belts likes the thick leather ones hurted the worst. But the heel of the shoe was the worst thing to get beat with I always ending up bleeding, getting a lump & cuts. Then I will receive a piece of ice to make them go down. Besides those I use to get pinches til the skin peeled, stuff thrown at  me, and poked with stuff. Also one of my big brothers would punch on me & my other little brother to toughen us up for when we got in fights with other people. Getting spanked & beatings did not help me listen or grow up fine. I now have bipolar disorder, I been in & out of psychiatric hospitals & 302ed lots of times. When I have flash backs of certain things it also can affect my mood instantly so I'm prone to I irritated & angry outburst & I get into a lot of physical fights as I get older I've been loosing a lot of patience. But I was always told if somebody hits you, you hit them back . I'm African American so I know some of this stuff is common with our culture but I personally will NEVER beat my children when I have them & I will not hit them.