I met my first love when we were only in 7th grade. I broke up with himbecause I knew I wasn't for a boyfriend. Then blah blah blah he went out with someone else bull shit bull shit lol they was together for like 2 years or 3 on and off same as us and now (She was my play sister) I started back talking talking to him and she got mad and we were arguing and stuff and all that. Ughhh long story short we are now together again & she's out of the picture. We recently had sex yesterday, when we did he was a virgin and I wasn't which broke my heart into millions of pieces because I wanted to wait for someone special like every girl but I still had mines token away from me (I was raped) and that person gave me a STD I didn't know until a year later. I couldn't tell anyone because I was scared he lived so close to me and he kept coming back. I was 13 at the time I was raped, 14 when I found out I had it (Didn't get it cured because I blackout, and 15 when i got it cured. I was still sexual active (Big mistake) I had sex again with someone I had sex before I got it cured so I believe I have it again and since my FIRST LOVE was a virgin I'm so scared that I have it to him if I have it😖 I feel so disgusting and so horrible because of it. I want to tell him so bad but his only 15 or 16 and I'm 16. And now I may not be able to start a family when I get older and marry and it makes me cry and break down every single time I think about it. I beat myself up every time even think about killing myself because if only I stayed in the house that day. The person hurt me had a daughter while I may not have anyone. That's probably why I'm so wrapped up in thinking about trying to have a baby now but that's not a good idea I know. But I don't know what to do anymore.