EDIT: Thank you to those of you who offered words of support, understanding, and empathy as well as those of you who offered suggestions. Being called selfish and being told to suck it up... I guess I expected... but I feel it was a bit uncalled for. I was opening up to a community of people because I was feeling bad and some comments didn't help. Of all the time he and I have been together, we haven't spent as much time apart as we have in the past year, so it's been hard for me. I couldn't do what military families do. I commend them for doing it, but it's just not how I want my family's lifestyle to be. I would like to add that I do have hobbies and friends and I do my best to keep myself busy while he's gone. I am also working a part time summer job, so going with him, unfortunately, is not an option. My biggest frustrations with him leaving come from us TTC so we do miss out on some months of trying, which is a bummer. I also do not enjoy going to bed and waking up alone when he's gone. I understand that I need to do better in controlling my emotions, especially to him, because it's not easy for him either. It is something I will continue to work on. Thank you again for those of you who helped me find some perspective! :) I appreciate it!! <3

 

Original post: 

 

His traveling for work has kind of become a sore point in our relationship, because I hate when he's gone.

 

First of all, we are TTC. He doesn't have complete control over his travel dates so if he's gone during our peak time, we're out for a whole month. Which kills me. I also just like spending time with my husband. I get so lonely when he's gone, especially during the summer since I'm a teacher. Tomorrow, he leaves for his 4th trip of the summer and he may have to go all next week as well. He has to go for two 10 day trips in September as well. We also have a dog, so when he's gone, our dog is home alone during the day longer than she would be if he were here. Might not seem like a big deal to some, but it is to me. 

 

So anyways... the tension has been high when it comes to him traveling... I've said some hurtful things and I know he isn't enjoying the traveling either. Up until recently, he hasn't had to travel as much, but he's getting more responsibilities as he moves up at his job. He says he's thinking about looking for a new job. Aside from the travel, he loves his job - he works with friends, gets along with his boss, makes a decent amount of money, likes the work environment...

 

I know I should be there for him and build him up and encourage him because he wouldn't be traveling so much if they didn't value him. But every time he tells me he's going on another trip, I lose it. I cry and say mean things and tell him that maybe we shouldn't be together if he's going to spend all his time working.

 

I just truly don't know what to do, think, or say. 😟 I'm trying to be a good wife and support him in his job because, honestly, I don't think the travel bothers him as much as my reaction to him having to travel. He said he gets nervous to tell me when he has to leave because he knows how upset it makes me. 

 

Any advice? Words of reason? Anyone else in similar situations? Am I being a horrible person? I just love my husband so much, I hate it when he's gone.