since "eh" was too short of a title here is a long ass title because fuck this app. fuckkkkkkkkkkk youuuuuu eve.
not that people will exactly care, I just need to vent and get it out.
everything right now, I am so depressed and I have been for over a year now. my anxiety is getting worse. I couldn't even go bowling with my friend for 30 minutes without freaking out and taking her home.
I'm losing control.
my mom is going through so much right now and is depressed as well. I'm trying to be there for her because she needs someone but I'm falling apart. I've always doubted living an I've tried taking it but also don't want to die. I feel so empty yet so overwhelmed. so numb yet so shocking. I feel so alone. I keep getting with guys to mask that feeling. which isn't good. I'm usually not like that. I'm usually so independent.
I keep getting so high to "forget" the thought of dying. I keep getting so high to mask how low I'm feeling. I want to scream at the top of my lungs. I want to punch everything in sight. I sleep anytime I can.
I miss the comfort of cutting but I've been clean for one year and eight months now so I don't want to ruin it.
I don't even know what to do man.
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