Not at all your typical glow post.

I have been with glow for 4 years now.

I feel i can say i know what glow is mostly about.... ffpl, mc, ttc relationship problems etc....

( all of the above i have experienced whilst being a member of glow!)

Yet What i am reaching out for is none of the above.

I have been with my ds for 4 years now, i can not express enough what he means to me. We live together and are the best friends.. the worst we have have argued over is why hes socks are not paired or when is he going to paint the kitchen....

However... he has a drug problem. Ever since i met him he has taken cocain.. i took him to na meetings, when that failed i threatened to leave him... numerous times... which he begged me to let him prove how much i mean more to him than drugs... (he did stop i fell pregnant twice!!... lost the baby.. when we went to doctors they said he was low because of the drugs..

. anyway since then i have tried it (cocain) not at all proud in fact deeply ashamed!! hence why i am on here reaching out to you rather than telling family, friends,doctors.etc... since jan this year i have become hooked with him to the point of doing it every other day.

I am 30 years old, well respected in my town with a respectable job. Why have i allowed myself to be like this? I want kids, marriage etc.. and feel i deserve it... well i felt that i deserved it till this happened.

Sorry for the long message but i beg that whoever takes the time to read this will reply blatently and honest with me on what im doing to myself, allowing to happen and what i should do from here?