It's currently 3:38 where I am, and I'm laying here and I just can't fall asleep, and I can't stop thinking, I just have been going through having PTSD from an abusive relationship and being raped, and then being played by the first guy I trusted since then because he made it seem like he cared about me, but I turned out to be just a rebound then he ghosted me and apparently told my best friend to kill herself when she called him out (he wasn't like that when we got together or I never would have touched him), and I haven't even had a hug in probably a month, which sadly is quite normal for me, and I need some human affection, and my parents are fighting again and it feels like they're really close to splitting if they don't try to actually talk things out, and the stress is making them lash out at me and drink more, my dad was cursing me out for him not hearing what I told him was for dinner even though I said it 7 times and he was right next to me, and my mom keeps telling me my life is going to shit and that I ow her to get it together because she put up with my issues after having been raped and apparently my rape traumatized her so much that I have no excuse to feel upset or have bad days because she's so upset from of it, and just if anyone has some words of encouragement or advice on how to handle this shit it would be really appreciated, it's just I'm barely 18, I don't have the experience or skills to fix any of this, but everyone seems to expect me to fix all of it, and I just can't.