Does it bother you guys if your husband gets close to a female colleague

Question

Well here's my story.   My husband just got back from ever seas and been wanting to tell me something but tonight he kinda slipped about it.   He told me that halfway thru his deployment he got close to one of his girl colleague.  Just talking though.   He's close to a lot of them , mostly boys but she happened to be one of them.  A girl who likes kicking it with just boy and supposedly she's a lesbian.  He Promise nothing ever happened and he looks at her like a sis!   I'm 30 wks pregnant and just balling my eyes out cause I'm out here taking care of our 4 children, playing mommy and daddy roles and holding it down at home.   We been together for 9 yrs and he had never cheated on me but this bothers me so much .   Would u guys be bother by this???   Advice needed .. I feel hurt.

Answer

I've been the other girl in this situation. Electrician for 10 years. Have had 2 relationships in that time, was only out of a relationship for about a month. Never had any interest in any of my colleagues at all.

This one guy, was 6ft5+ and about 350lbs, much older, big beard, looked a bit like a red-headed Santa. Couldn't have been further off my list if he tried. But I HAD to wear my hair in a bun when working with him in case one of my (blonde) hairs escaped my pony and ended up on him, due to his gf. She was extremely insecure & would check his clothes & smell him etc to make sure he didn't smell like other girls or have hair or lipstick etc. I'm like lady, we're in a dirty, smelly plantroom, on ladders, drilling concrete, dust everywhere, trying to get a job done, seducing your partner isn't even ON my mind.

Similar happened when I was an apprentice, was giving directions to a new guy, he'd picked me up, taking one car to site, his gf on phone "who's that's, I heard a female voice."
"That's just the apprentice giving directions to site."
"Bullshit it was a female..." Rant rant rant. He's trying his hardest to convince her i really was the apprentice and had a BF and no interest in him blah blah blah.

They've all said I'm like their younger sister or they see me as one of the guys. They've all had other halves, girlfriends, boyfriends, wives etc and I've had my BF. Even sharing a hotel room (well 2 bedrooms but same room) jumping my colleague never entered my head. In fact I feel sick even thinking about it now to write it lol.

Answer

Don't let your hormones get the best of you. If he's trust worthy, trust him. Was he supposed to completely ignore her or keep his distance just because she's a female? Even if she's only said things to him in a very chill and respectful manner? Let your man be honest about things like this without repurcussions because then they start thinking that they might need to hide things from you too keep you happy....even when it's innocent

Answer

I understand there's a "what if" kind of feeling when your guy talks about another girl, but honestly with jobs like the military, police force, emts, firefighters, etc. it seems they become more like family than just coworkers...and not in a sexual way. When you are trusting someone to have your back, you're gonna feel more like brothers and sisters than just regular friends. There are so many military people in my family and they all talk about the people they work with like family. Maybe you can set up a time to meet her. If you become friends with her too you may feel better. Also, if you meet her, you may be able to tell if there really ever was foul play. But if he's never given you a reason not to trust him, then don't jump to conclusions. If he's telling you about her then he must care what you think. Just be careful how you handle it with no proof of him being unfaithful.

Answer

If you believe in gender equality then having your husband be friends with a girl just as he would with a guy is completely normal. You shouldn't think anything of it. It doesn't matter her sexual orientation, but you really have nothing to worry about if you know she clearly isn't interested in your husband. And being upset at her friendship should be the same as his relationship with any men then - cause it's the same thing, friendship.

Answer

Personally yes this would bother me because it seems to me every time a guy gets close to a female they always say she is a lesbian...and tbh you don't know if she is what's going on you have every right

Answer

In my world, no, it wouldn't bother me. My husband works primarily with women and this happens with him a lot. I've also been "that girl" often. I have a MUCH easier time making male friends than female friends, and it leads to a lot of women hating my guts...

If you trust him, continue to do so. At least he was willing to tell you about this girl.

Answer

If you both trust each other, there's nothing to worry about, however, the unknown part of it would scare me a little bit, only bc I wasn't there and didn't witness what actually happened during the deployment. I tend to be a bit jealous and insecure, so it would bother me, but I'd try my best to let it roll off my shoulders. My husband actually got close with a girl he met while playing a video game with on the internet. It used to bother me, but he's reassured me that they were only friends. She's happily married and we are too, and they've stopped talking as much as they were since we got rid of our PS3 and purchased an Xbox 1. He doesn't play the game they met through anymore bc of it. My husband would never cheat on me and  I know that. You should definitely sit down and talk to your husband about your feelings. Pregnancy hormones aren't working in your favor now, but he needs to know how you feel.💜

Answer

Yes due to that fact it lead to cheating.

Answer

Honestly, if anything was going on I don't think he would have even mentioned her to you. Atleast you know he can be honest, and he's told you about this girl himself. Now, if one of his other colleagues told you that he's getting really close to this girl and they talk alot etc, and you knew nothing about it because he hadn't mentioned it, then you should be worrying. But this sounds completely innocent to me

Answer

My husband worked with a chick and he'd mention her a lot. However, I knew for a fact she was not his type and it was nothing more than they hit it off as coworkers and commiserated about the job together. I finally met her at his birthday dinner and she was very nice and I had no problem with her. She knew he was married but it was never an issue because their friendship wasn't anything beyond that. I trust my husband. He's had female friends but not given me a reason to think he's done anything behind my back.

I think it also depends on the level of trust y'all have. Has he given you any reason to make you believe he's lying or that something happened? If not, try and relax. Men and women can be friends. When one is in a relationship both parties (in the friendship) should know boundaries and respect by those boundaries.

Does it bother you guys if your husband gets close to a female colleague

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