Abuse or Mistake?

Question

My husband got drunk last night and choked me on the street corner. A stranger pulled him off. He's been nothing but apologetic since he's been sober, but it's the second time in 4 months he's laid hands on me. The first time he was sober. I want to accept his apology, but I know eventually a cycle starts and I'll become a victim. He really does love me, just loses control sometimes I guess. Am I wrong? Should I get out or give him more chances? We've been married for 2 years.

Answer

Nope. Solid nope. The fact that he did this sober as well as drunk suggests that he is an abuser, and not just that he has an alcohol problem. Do whatever you need to do to get out, stay with a friend or family. If you don't have those, there are shelters and even AirBnB. Leave a letter or send an email when you are in a safe place. Don't tell him where you are, don't talk to him before you leave, don't go back to him. What if that guy on the street corner wasn't there? He might have killed you. That's unforgivable.

Answer

If he is putting his hands on you then he needs to see someone to control his anger. Now if YOU feel like YOU can't handle it then leave. It's all in how YOU feel. Good luck Hun and I hope he never puts his bitch ass hands on you again!

Answer

I'm so sorry to hear this! If it's already happened twice within a short period, imagine how often it can occur. My best advice would be to go to someone (a counselor may be the best option). Have your husband go to try and sort things out. Maybe he has some things running in his mind that he feels uncomfortable sharing with you..? Safety always comes first! Take a break, go get some help, and see where that leads you both. God bless that stranger you saved you. ❤️

Answer

No one has the right to harm you. Especially someone you trust. It's common to feel that this may be the only time it will happen or that it was a mistake. These are excuses. If it happened once when he was drunk it could happen again. Since you made a post this is just my perspective. My mother was in the same situation. Ultimately she had to end the relationship for the sake of her health and sanity. I wish you the best and courage in these rough times❤️

Answer

I hate to put this harshly, but what if that stranger didn't come by to help? He could have killed you, and most definitely could again. If you don't want to give up on him, I suggest going to see a doctor - a counselor or someone licensed in these situations. But if you feel detached it might be best to leave the marriage. Whatever route you choose, please, try to take care of yourself and your safety first.

Answer

Abuse!!! If he loves you truly he wouldn't put his hands on you sober or not get out you don't want to be in a dangerous situation

Answer

I would first try to resolve the issue by going to counseling or having him go to anger management classes. If these things don't help then I would leave. It's better safe than sorry. And if you have kids you need to think about what's best for them too and how it would affect them growing up in an environment of that. If you don't have kids I would hold off on having them until this is resolved.

Answer

How could it be a mistake if he did it before while sober. Either way, it is abuse.

Answer

It's not a mistake he is apologetic now but he won't be when he gets angry again. I'd say tell him if it happens again you'll leave then if it does, leave him. Keep yourself safe, you wouldn't want him abusing your kids

Answer

That is definitely an act of abuse. I know that you may want to give him the benefit of the doubt and hope things will get better, but he'll only do it again and again. I would cut it off, girly!

Abuse or Mistake?

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