I'm 30, married at 18. Was told from 20 that I couldn't have babies, time seemed to prove it true. About 6 yrs ago we decided an open marriage was a good idea, as we needed each other financially, and codependently (been together since childhood). Except now I'm pregnant by my then bf who became daddy and exbf in the same conversation. My husband is, oddly enough, in love with his older than him best friends daughter, a decade younger than him. She's married, also pregnant, and his brand new confidant. He's also been more supportive of her pregnancy than mine, which makes less sense when you know he's never wanted kids and these people have been his "family" since she was 5. So, the daddy wants me to abort, my husband wants me to abort but always adds that I can keep it, and he'll do his best... And I'm confused. In the evenings, when I'm alone on the couch, watching TV, reading. I'll think about my situation and know deep that I want to keep it, and I can do right by it, and I know. But in the light of day, its washed out by the sun and when I am asked if I'd decided on doing it yet? Or when my husband snubs me, but not cruelly, he never noticed me. I know its not his kid, but this was a situation we had discussed as a possibility, and there wasn't anything about falling in love with a girl who's essentially his niece, oh and pregnant, married, and probably has no clue what is going on in regards to her. I don't know what to do. Do I abort this child, who will possibly be sick or disabled given the meds I'm on. That my husband is sole worker cuz I'm disabled and wading through BULLSHIT for health insurance and my disability pay. Might get the insurance faster now, keeping it. But I can't expect food stamps coming in large enough amounts to cover 18-88 yrs of raising this child. And school is a lot more expensive these days. And to risk it on my, hubs, and bdaddys financial futures? None of us are gonna move on up until we move on from these sad lives. And my reasoning of 'this is my only chance' and 'but I already love her’ ring really hollow. Am I being selfish, having a baby I know is going to have a hard life? Please no pro vs anti debates here, I really need to know if I'm seeing things wrong. Thanks.