Lately my boyfriend/fiancé and I have been on the outs. I say b/f because of the way he proposed or not. He handed me a grocery bag with the ring box in it and just stood there. Despite me expressing to him earlier in our relationship how I pictured him getting down on one knee after discussing his plans with my mom, neither happened. Ok so, right before the pregnancy began, he would show insecurities. Checking my phone, and asking tons of "who, what, and why" questions. The last time he went thru my phone, he confronted me about msgs between my son's dad and I. I hand him my phone and say "show me!" He pulls up the msgs from "My baby ****" which is my son and it was like every msg he spoke of, he actually imagined it to say something it didn't. Weird huh? Ex. "Call me when you get to daddy's house". But when he confronted me it was "call me when you get home Daddy". I was soooo pissed I couldn't sleep that night. All he could say was "oh, my bad". After this I locked my phone. We've been together for 5yrs breaking up for two back in '13. He had pushed me away to the point I had no emotional connection with him because he couldn't seem to let go of his ex wife who he has no ties to. She cheated and had "their first baby" with another man. She was drama the first half of our relationship. But somehow he still wanted to hold on to their friendship. We argue about the smallest things. Honestly, it could start as a conversation then turn into an argument because he wants to argue about who said what, how they said it, how they should've said it, etc. It gets to the point where I'm not even sure what we're arguing about anymore! When we got back together, he told me he had cut all ties with his ex before moving back to Ga. I've never accused him of cheating, he doesn't seem like he's capable. He cooks, cleans and caters to me physically. But emotionally, he makes it very difficult to like him. His personality is one of a person I wouldn't really associate with. I say this because he's the type who keeps tabs and everything he does is thrown back in my face when he's looking for credit. He has motives. He's not a clean person. His mom isn't euther, so I put it off on his upbringing. I'm a neat freak. I will go behind him and fix things or clean things just because I know I can be a little extra. He takes it as he needs to do it my way, so he'll say "I got it baby" and do it my way. I started having anxiety (palpitations) really bad a month ago. After seeing cardio dr, test were normal. Except one, thyroid test. In this time, him and I had talked about why I get so upset and start yelling. He knows that my tolerance for pointless shit is very low. Very. But he will make it his business to start petty arguments with me. For instance, I'm getting dressed to pick my daughter up from school. He's in bed off of 3rd shift. He kept asking me to get back in bed with him. "I can't, I have to go get my daughter". Repeated this a few times. Then he gets up and asks again, where are you going? I'm like how many times are you going to ask me that? "Until l get an answer!" I've answered you over again! He says "I know where you say you're going but it's 1:40pm, she doesn't get out until 2:10 pm. You aren't going this early, I never leave until 2:00". By now, I'm super annoyed! Because 1, I've expressed to him how I don't like when the kids are waiting to be picked up, and 2, it's nowhere I can be going in this short time without being late to pick her up!! Ughhh! Ok so, (sorry so long, almost finished). So Sunday he tells me that he has to work late all week. 2hrs late. So Tuesday I undressed and layed on the bed while he was getting ready for work. Him being who he is, wanting sex everyday...didn't even touch me until I asked for it. So we had a sex and he never came. This NEVER happens. In my heart I believe he had sex with someone else. (He's met another woman at a hotel before without me knowing, his cousin's wife actually. She was visiting in town, I never understood why this needed to happen but)...  Then after he all of a sudden didn't have to work late anymore this week, my mind starts wandering. I looked at his text msgs that next day and see where he's been having flirty conversations with a coworker. And having conversations with his ex wife late nights while working 3rd shift. Texting her the same thing he texts me, right before he would text me. So last night he asked me am I happy? I took opportunity to tell him we need counseling before marriage and how I felt and about the text I saw in his phone amongst some other things that bothered me. His reply was "I go to other women to get what you don't give me. I've already started looking for a replacement".  And he said he wouldn't marry someone who locked their phone". Then he sends another text listing all this shit that he does "for me". Things that I don't ask him to! Like "separating the laundry, washing the towels separate from the clothes. Putting the groceries on the belt a certain way at check out. Putting the tissue "roll over" instead of under." Again things that I never asks him to do, he always insist with saying "I want to do it for you". Ok so... I decided to not take this relationship any further. I told him that I will slowly find me and the kids somewhere else to live and I will sleep in the kids room from now on. This is his 1st child. My question to you, I don't want to raise another child by myself. In my mind, I want to let him have full custody and I will just leave with my other two kids. I know they will be crushed. But physically, and financially I can't do it alone. Am I thinking irrationally?? Would I be selfish to do so?? What can I do to ease my mind?? I know this relationship is over. I can't deal with the dishonesty and disrespect.