I want to tell my boyfriend I love him, I know I do but I've been a little hesitant and here's why. The very first day we started dating he said he loved me but I told him to not say it because it was the first day we started dating and it was way too soon, I didn't want to jinx anything. He understood and we didn't say it. On our first anniversary I told him I loved him and he said it back. I can be a little crazy sometimes and I had a feeling he was hiding something from me, I automatically assumed it was another girl but it wasn't. A few days after our second anniversary he started acting distant and he got really mad at me for something really small and I knew something was wrong and he finally told me the truth. He said he didn't really love me he just said it because he thought I wanted/needed to hear it. I was beyond hurt, for over a month he made me believe that I was crazy thinking he was lying when he really was. He knows how much I hate lying and he did it anyways. I kept thinking back to everything he's ever said it and everytime I doubted him he told me I was overthinking. No hesitation at all, no sign of guilt, it was so easy for him to pretend. I almost broke up with him but we talked it over the next day and obvi we're still together. He said he did love me when he first said it the first day we started dating then it went away when I said not to say it and he's been trying to get back the feeling. Oh I'm his first gf btw. Anyways, I told him love doesn't just go away that easy. We haven't said it since. My feelings for him never decreased or went away. I almost broke up with him out of anger and dissapoinment not lack of love. It's been well over a month and he's earned back my trust and he's more open with me, well we both are. Whenever I see him smile or laugh, it just warms my soul (I know cheesy). There's been many times when I almost said I loved him but I stop myself because I'm not sure if he's ready. Awhile ago I was bored so I went through his phone and I was reading his texts with his best friend and he was telling her about the argument and she asked him if he knows now about if he loves me or not and he said he does because of the way he felt when I almost left him. Part of me thinks I should wait for him to say it first but what if he's scared to say it because he thinks I'll think he's lying again. I want to tell him, I want him to know he's in my heart(love wise). Should I take the chance or wait? Also, I've been thinking of just telling him I love him then saying that he doesn't have to say it back right away, not unless he feels it too but then I feel like he'd feel bad and say it anyways without meaning. What should I do? Wait or be straight? We're both adults, in case age means anything.