My boyfriend told me he can't afford me?

Question

Ugh so I'm not super happy rn. I just got off the phone with my boyfriend of almost a year who has suddenly decided that (right after saving up money to buy a new car) he's gonna save up again to buy another car! One he can fix up.

I'm all for him having hobbies and getting the things he wants. Of course I want him to be happy. But he told me tonight that he can't afford to take me on dates anymore or buy me gifts or anything like that.

Now before you freak out on me for being a selfish bitch, I JUST went through this with him with the car he JUST bought! We spent months of me paying for literally everything, we never went out to nice places that we used to, never saw any movies, never did ANYTHING. It was literally run through a fast food place then have sex. I'm not selfish and I'm not asking for extravagant expensive dates but I would like to be taken out every once in awhile! If he expects sex then I expect to be treated well!

And I love him to death and want him to have this and I support him 100% it's just that I want to go on a date. I hope I don't sound like a horrible person. Ugh

Answer

You definitely don't sound like a horrible person. As a women, it feels good to be treated to nice things by your guy sometimes, even if it's something really simple. You should totally support him, but make it known that you'd like to be treated to things sometimes too. However you choose to say it, try not to rub in his face that he didn't have the money to do nice things for you bc that could make him feel really bad.

Answer

I would talk about it with him. You can still have a conversation about it while also supporting his hobbies. I think a good compromise is to pay for your own things. Like if you go out to dinner, split the bill. Pay separately when you go to the movies. While he doesn't have the money to treat you, which happens, he also shouldn't be financially dependent on you, and vice versa.

Answer

I am in a similar boat. Except my boyfriend is too lazy to get a job. So he's broke pretty much. Doesn't have a car, doesn't have a phone and is in debt, so I'm literally paying for everything. Which didn't used to bug me when I thought it was only going to be a few months but it's been a year. Ive given him so many $20 bills for cigarettes and weed, I've bought petrol (when he borrowed a car for 6 months), I've even paid for movies, holidays, restaurants. I've given him money to pay off his debts. I know he gets money here and there from doing handyman stuff or borrowing money off his parents. None of which has gone to me. Not once. For our anniversary, I had to organise dinner at local restaurant, wasn't anything fancy but he didn't get me anything. I even told him several times the only thing I wanted was a nicely written letter about how much he loves and appreciates me. That's all I asked for, for my anniversary. For my birthday (we kind share birthdays), I planned to go out for drinks with him and some friends. He didn't have any nice going out clothes so on my birthday I bought him clothes, I bought him another present and I paid 250 for the bar tab for me,  him and his friend. The only thing I asked for was for him to have fun. I didn't have fun at all on my birthday (not his fault) but him being drunk and running off outside to smoke ciggies didn't help at all. Just kind of tired of not being taken care of. I'm not asking much, just dont understand why ciggies are more important than taking care of your girl.

Answer

My bf is saving up for a car and we dont go out anywhere ever either it sucks..i feel like im gettin bored of the realationship not doing anything.

My boyfriend told me he can't afford me?

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