What to say to MIL...

Question

She is "concerned" that baby does not sleep in her crib in her nursery yet. Baby is 2 months. MIL comes to stay in 2 weeks and I already am dreading hearing her "concerns" and want some eloquent reasons to fire back at her.  What are your reasons for keeping baby close to you? She's in a sleeper next to our bed...

Accepted Answer

Sids, breastfeeding, diaper changes, irregular sleep pattern, because she came out of my vagina and I said so, because it helps with bonding and building emotional independence and security.. I mean anything you say really is a justified reason you can't be wrong.. you made this tiny person, you can put her to sleep in your room if you want. Period.

Answer

It's actually recommended that baby sleep in the same room as mom until 6 months. It reduces the risk of SIDS and babies who are close to mom at night are typically better sleepers. I would look up some facts from medical sites that explain this, and tell her while you appreciate her advice, a lot more research has been done and many things have changed since she had a newborn, and you are doing what is medically best and safest for your baby.

Answer

One thing I haven't seen anyone else mention: tell your husband it's his job to explain it!

Answer

My MIL is the same way! When she's staying with us, she likes our baby to sleep on the couch with her (after we've told her MULTIPLE times we do not want him sleeping on the couch, he has a mobile bassinet that he can sleep in right next to her and she keeps doing it). Anyway, I always just tell her if she didn't birth him, she has no say for him. I carried him for 9 months, I laid on the operating table and had him taken from my body, I feed him from my breast and the bottles my husband and I bought, I burp him, I change him and clothe him (so does my hubby but ya know). That usually gets her to leave us alone about it for a little bit and then she'll try and give us stuff like bottles or formula and then she'll turn it and be like "I got him this or that so I have some say now" and I just have to leave my husband alone with her because I just can't deal with her sometimes

Answer

She's only two months tell your MIL to chill.

Answer

Just be blunt and tell her how you and your DH choose to parent is none of her business. Your baby is loved, healthy and happy and tell her the pediatrician thinks so also. Being blunt and honest will let her see that you don't need her unwanted advice/comments and it will stop further boundary stomps in the future. Tell her next time she can stay in a hotel if she doesn't like how you handle your own baby.

Answer

Because you're her mum, end of!

Answer

My mom thought I was crazy too having baby in my room. The information back then was different when we were babies. She also couldn't believe that baby powder wasn't used in diaper changes anymore. I just inform her of the latest research instead of taking it personally.

Answer

I just have a rehearsed medical answer for anything like that. "The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends separate-surface cosleeping until 6 months to reduce the risk of SIDS." Shuts it down real fast. "My pediatrician said to" works well too. That's not why I cosleep--I do it because it is easier, I like being close to him, it is safer, we all sleep better, he doesn't have to wake up in distress for me to get him, and there's nothing better than waking up to a happy baby face. But as far as relatives go, they listen to doctors more than they listen to you.

Answer

I can't remember where I saw this the other day, maybe in this app. "When we know better we do better" is the best response to "in my day.... Blah bath bkah"

What to say to MIL...

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