Will I ever be happy again?

I lost my baby girl a little over a month ago now. I was 23 weeks and lost her due to IC one doctor says and the other says Infection.  It's been absolutely devastating. We moved to a bigger home, announced on FB, had her name picked out, was baby shopping and both family's were over joyed. My water broke 4 days after moving.
Now I cant seem to get myself together, I cry all time. I can't stop thinking about what happened to us and why me, why her and questioning God. I drink at night and have not been back to work yet. I can't get my rythem back.. Is this normal? I'm sad, angry and embarrassed. I need to go back to work but I don't want the pitty looks. 
Anyone else go through this?