How do I get help? 😔

Question

I am a Christian woman and have been married to a Christian man for 8 years, we have two young children. We go to church every Sunday and midweek service. Anyone looking in would think we have it made. 
But it's not true. I feel like such a fake! Because our marriage is falling apart. I don't want to get into particulars. But it's like my husband has just tuned out of our relationship and family. I don't know how to fix it! I've tried everything I know, I love him. I know we probably need counseling but my husband will not consider it. I don't have anyone to turn to because I'm afraid of letting them down. Although my mom is beginning to notice things aren't right. Others look at us as a "perfect Christian example". I'm afraid of anyone finding out the real truth because I wouldn't want to hurt my witness to others. So I just keep it inside but i feel like it's destroying me. Besides praying, what should I do? Does anyone have some Bible based advice for me? 😭

Thank you ladies for your good advice! :)
With the Lord's help anything is possible! 💕

Answer

I think it can be hard (not just as Christians, but as humans) to admit when we're struggling and need help. It's almost like opening up your problems to those on the outside makes them *real* and that's scary. We're afraid other people will see us as failures or even kick us while we're down by scolding us or showing disappointment. But EVERYONE struggles, and if they say they don't they're also a liar. 😉

That being said, sometimes in marriage we aren't on the same page and someone has to work harder to make things work. It's not fair, and it's hard but it's worth it to put in the extra fight. So reach out to family or friends in your church for support and get counciling even if you have to go alone for now.

Answer

Prayer will change everything. Pray to God, tell God what you need to work out your marriage. God said, You have not, because you ask not. He also said open the door and I will enter. All you have to do is ask God to mold your marriage so that it can be strong. Ask God to bring your husband back into the relationship. Ask God to meet y'all need in that marriage and he will do it. Ask God to enter into your marriage, your family and he will enter. It may take time but continue to pray. Claim it on the name of Jesus. When you feel sad or depressed, rebuke it in the name of Jesus. Don't claim nothing negative. So, don't say that your marriage is falling apart because that aint nothing but the devil trying to still your joy.  Say that your marriage is healed because God has already won the battle. Your marriage is stronger than it has ever been because God has won the battle. Say it every day and watch God turn it around. And don't be afraid to talk to your pastor about it. Seek prayer at your church. That's what church is for. Its not to appear like everything is fine, it for you to go seeking and agreeing on the word of God. Not to worry about what people there will think. Only man you need to fear is God. Now you be blessed, your marriage be blessed. Amen

Answer

You and your husband need to come before God, you need to pray as a couple, as a family and be completely honest and open in prayer. God knows both of your hearts but needs you to acknowledge things yourselves. There is no shame in asking for help or talking to good Christian people. God answers prayer absolutely, but he does it in various ways, be it through a situation, directly to you or via a third party. You won't be only person going though this in your church, there will be others who have been in the same place as you and your husband and have come out the other side. If he won't seek outside help them that is his choice, it doesn't stop you seeking help and guidance from your brothers and sisters in Christ. God wants us to meet together, encourage one another and ultimately grow closer to Him. You should not feel that you cannot talk to anyone due to it effecting your witness in church. Is a better witness a True witness, warts and all?! I know I can relate to the people who didn't get it right more than those that did. God never promised us an easy ride, it's how we deal with the attacks that show a real witness. Pray on it and let your Father lead you

Answer

I don't think you are supposed to be in charge of your witness. Remember we are all sinners and the reason that we need Christ is because we are not perfect. By pretending to be the perfect couple you may be discouraging someone else who is struggling and think that they're not good enough because they can't be as perfect as you seem to be.  
The truth is there is no such thing as a perfect marriage.
Sometimes the devil will tell us lies to keep us from reaching out for help because he does not want us to be victorious.
People can surprise you if I were you I would reach out to someone in your church preferably the pastor and his wife. Look into Christian counseling we cannot do everything on our own.
Having problems and then overcoming them with Christ help is a much greater witness. Remember our witnesses not about who we are but about what Christ has done for us.

Answer

Being Christian doesn't mean you are perfect in any way, shape or form. Jesus is the only one who is perfect & that's why He died on the cross for our sins as the perfect & spotless lamb. Christians are also not defined as people who attend church regularly - although it is important to be among believers & continue to grow spiritually. Being Christian means you are a FULLY devoted follower of Jesus Christ. You can go through the motions of being a "Christian," but if you have no relationship with God you're just as lost as a non -believer. That being said, this is a spiritual battle that has been coming to fruition in your marriage & it needs to be fought spiritually. Continue to pray & seek the Lord together & ask Him to open your eyes to any inconsistencies in your life. Ask Him to soften your hearts so that the Holy Spirit may enter into your life & guide you. Most importantly be strong in your faith. God will never leave you nor forsake you. He loves you & only wants the best for you. God bless you & your marriage & please keep us updated! 💜😊
2 The LORD is my strength and my song; he has given me victory. This is my God, and I will praise him— my father’s God, and I will exalt him! 3 The LORD is a warrior; Yahweh is his name! (‭Exodus‬ ‭15‬:‭2-3‬ NLT)

Answer

Prayer is so so powerful. Prayer and fasting together is even better. Just leave it in Gods hands ... You need to show God you trust him and He will respond do not worry 😊. God can do anything! Tell God the next time you pray that you know He knows you have tried everything and that now you will leave it in His hands and will trust Him with His plan for you- say all that in your prayer and pray and pray and fast and fast and God will mend 😊 Have a blessed day. Goodluck and Godbless x

Ps. I don't know if it's too late for this post but anyway ahaha.

Answer

Well have family movie night and watch the War Room it's an awesome movie. Do something out of the ordinary in bed maybe that's where the issue is. Sometimes we are so busy with the routine we forget to be spontaneous. Even as Christians

Answer

I agree you need to come before the Lord and pray.

My hubby and I use anointing oil and pray when we feel like the enemy is attacking our marriage and usually when there is a foot hold on anything in our lives the enemy will get a strong hold. 
We also had deliverance with so strong pastors we know it's really helped our marriage.

There are still times when we struggle but we always talk about it together

New International Version"In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 
Ephesians 4:6
God Bless you both 💖

How do I get help? 😔

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