Did My New Manager Just Body Shame Me?!?!

Question

Today was my fifth day at work. I'm still in training. Today, the manager pulled me aside and said nothing I'd worn so far was in dress code. I confirmed with her that the dress code was business casual, and the manager said yes. Business casual was the same dress code at my last job (a bank and this current job is also a bank). So I'm wearing the same wardrobe I've been wearing per banking dress codes I've always worn.

Anyway, the new manager says my clothes have been "too" lax. For example, today I wore a red and black striped dress that hit below the knees with a cardigan. Anything below the knee hose is not required. And I put my flats on. The manager said my dress was "too big" and my cardigan "too loose." Yesterday, I wore black slacks and a beige long sleeve blouse. The manager said my blouse was "too stretched out looking" -- whatever the hell that means. I didn't understand how either of these outfits were inappropriate.

I'm a bigger woman and I've lost some weight. My clothes are fitting looser following weight loss, but the clothes aren't falling off me and by no means do I look sloppy. Anyway, bottom line, I felt a bit offended by my new manager's remarks. In 12 years of banking, I've never been reprimanded about dress code. I cannot afford to go out and buy new stuff every time I drop 5 pounds. I couldn't help but read between the lines a bit that the manager was taking a shot at my body shape and/or appearance. Did I misinterpret you think? She just really rubbed me the wrong way.

Answer

It doesn't sound like body shaming to me, more like "mean girls".. Sounds like she just doesn't think your clothes are "nice enough". I would explain to her that you have/are losing weight and not financially in a position to purchase brand new pieces right now. If she still says stuff to you I'd go above her head. Best of luck.

Answer

If your clothes are too baggy it can look sloppy. You can go to a thrift store if you can't afford brand brand new stuff.

Answer

I mean it doesn't seem she made any comments about your body per-se. It was all strictly dress code, which is not really something she can help. What's business casual to one business may not be business casual to another, kinda just have to accommodate

Answer

I would wait for a moment to pull her aside and let her know you have concerns about the dress code. Ask her specifically what she finds appropriate. If you don't own the items she suggests then let her know that you currently don't have the money for an entirely new wardrobe. See if you can find a compromise. If she refuses to compromise, or if it turns out she really is just making fun of the fact that your clothes are fitting looser in between getting new wardrobes, go to HR or whoever is above her. Because at that point she's just harassing you, which is extremely unprofessional.

Answer

It could be that there is a difference in what is considered business casual between two banks. My previous job and current jobs were both considered "business casual" but they had different definitions as to what they considered that to mean. I would ask her for some kind of literature about what she or the HR department considers appropriate and see how your wardobe is fitting into the description

Answer

😩😩😩 I feel ya.. I'm a big booty girl.. And well my tight fitting skirts at the office had too many eyes looking at my butt.. And a lot of the girls in the office complained that my big fake butt shouldn't be aloud to wear short ass tight skirts.. Killed me I got brought in the office and told my skirt was too short.. It was beyond finger tip length. Wtf the no booty girls can wear mini skirts.. But because I fill out my clothes I now have to come to work in pants only.. Sucks.. I feel for ya..

Did My New Manager Just Body Shame Me?!?!

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