I'm a FTM 21 days PP and it seems like one been falling in and out of depression. Everytime I look at my newborn I'm just like damn how did this happen to me?? My husband keeps asking me am I alright and I tell him yes because Everytime I bring up conversation about how I'm feeling he's like well I don't ever want our son to think he's unwanted. Which is not how I want him to feel either so I keep my emotions inside. Everytime I try and cuddle with my husband or do anything that makes me feel like my normal self seems to upset my newborn. Is this what baby blues feels like? Oh and sex has gotten awkward between the two of us so I randomly check husbands phone just to find him watching interacial porn when I'm black and he's black. Every night he tries to make that attempt to do something sexual and I'm just overly tired and overall not feeling it. Esp since it still hasn't healed all the way...... I feel like my hubby is going to stop making attempts after a while and just turn to porn for pleasure.. Or worse. I feel trapped like even if he did cheat it's not like I can say forget him... We have a child together now. I never take this frustration out on my baby he's so innocent and precious so I tick my feelings away. Cry while I'm nursing. When I'm singing him to sleep at night practically whenever I'm alone with him. Someone please tell me I'm not the only one going through this...