This is going to be long sorry. So last January my husband and I decided to ttc. This was right after we bought our house is July and got married in September. After that stress of all this and our girls birthdays in October, and the holidays, him asking totally knocked me off kilter. After thinking about it and checking our lifestyle (finances etc). I said let's do it. By March we were pregnant. I got two weeks of bliss before sh!t hit the fan. My father died. We spent two weeks no pay in California with my stepmother who didn't make it pleasant and refused to let me even take pictures of my dad by the time we left. Did I mention I'm an only child and she has no children. The bitch wouldn't even give my children the books my dad bought them. And we emptied our savings paying for half the funeral. Legally wasn't worth the fight,we left with our memories and his love.

By the time we got back home with my saving gone and us stressing about bills, we walk into our brand new house to find half our crap is gone. My husbands friend who agreed to house sit and watch our dogs while we were gone decided he low in cash to start taking our things and pawning them. My work phone, tv, game systems, my husbands tools that he needs for work, etc. Ended spending our last money getting our crap out of hock. And had a huge blow up with my SO because he didn't want to call the cops on his friends. F-that you don't come in my house with my trust and steal from my kids. Just FU and F him.

My job, which is a highly physical jobs, then decided she I need to go on leave since im the only woman, their excuse was the didn't know what to do and didn't want the liability. Are you serious? Sending me home for a year with no pay is your answer . Had to fight just to continue to work. Then my light duty position wasn't even light duty. I ended hurting my back and my doctor decided to put me on leave at 6.5 months. In the mist of this I found out my HR doesn't even know I'm pregnant because my managment never filled out the right paperwork so it's not in my file. Because of this, they deny my STD. I'm now fighting with them, while I'm going to physical therapy and I'll basically be off work 2 months no pay while I wait for their decision. By that time my son will be here, oh and my fmla will be exhausted so I'll be expected to come back to work after having a c-section. Literally. I call HR and my back to work date is 11-21. I'm having a c-section 11-18. I'm almost tempted to due it for the lawsuit. I love my pay and my benefits but I seriously need a new job. Because this is some sexist Bullshit.

Through all this my husband boss doesn't give my husband his promotion and cuts his hours in half. So he starts taking side jobs anywhere he can. The go up on our mortgage (were fighting that too), our insurance, and since they are refusing to pay me. His income is the only one we have.

Is it any surprise i've been diagnosed with depression and anxiety. And I feel guilty as hell. I love my son, but I honestly feel since the moment that the test came back positive the universe has been pissed off about it. I tried to look at it positively, like for all good things to be appreciated you have to walk through trouble. But I'm literally to seconds from snapping. I'm contemplating ignorant things, including but not inclusive, to leaving my husband, moving out of nowhere where etc.

Omg I just needed to get that off my chest. There is so much more but they're ant hills compared to those. And I have no one to talk too. I love my in-laws but they're my in-laws. After moving here to be with my hubby 3-4 years ago I've been pretty much alone. No friends, no family. Just work, our family and my in-laws. Im literraly bottled up.

Thanks for listening ladies. I'm heading to PT then therapy. I'm trying to get help but my natural instinct is to just deal with it. Another long story but that's in the past. Positive vibe ladies. Lots of love