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I have been in your shoes and was eventually raped by the guy that I was in that situation with. Not saying it will happen to you, but he clearly doesn't give a shit about your wellbeing. Sex is a great gift. It can feel amazing, and is a great way of communicating in a safe relationship. If you don't feel ready, you aren't ready. Don't sell yourself short, and do what he expects just because he says he loves you. Talk is cheap. The man who you choose to have sex with (who should be your husband) should cherish you, and nurture you. Don't give yourself something to regret. If you felt disgusting after performing oral, you'll feel ten times worse after giving up your virginity. On your wedding day, there is only one gift you can bring that is going to mean the world to your husband. It's your virginity. And the same applies for him. It doesn't always work out that way. But in my opinion it should.
What to do when you aren't ready?
Hey ladies,
I'm posting this for some opinions,advice, and to see if anyone else has been where I am currently! So, my boyfriend and I have been together for nearly 4 months now and we have known eachother for a little over a year before we started dating. We weren't necessarily close but we would text and talk casually quite a bit.
So most couples slide into things whilst agreeing on when eachother are both ready, however, it hasn't been like this. He's a step ahead and more experienced than I am with relationships and sex. I am a virgin, and him, well, he won't say. I know for a fact he has had oral sex but beyond that I am clueless. However, he's wanted to have oral sex, and I complied once after having him insist on it constantly using love as a motive as to why I should do it.. After I did give him that I felt disgusting. His kisses felt awkward and I just (after that experience) don't feel a spark. If anything I was so ashamed of myself. I told him that too, and he couldn't have cared less.
I promised myself I would wait until marriage or at least until I felt 100% comfortable with any guy to do anything sexual. And not only that, it's only been 4 months and I'm still young.
So now, I'm clueless what to do. Has anyone else been where I am? Should I break up with him..? I'm scared if I do break up with him he'll tell people about that experience..
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I was in similar but not exactly the same situation. I also wasn't ready for sex for 4 month and he proposed not to do "everything" during our first time but at least some staff with hands. We did it. I should say I also didn't like it. But after that I told that I need some time and he did't insist anymore. Having realized that I was not pushed I totally relaxed and we had normal sex. I guess this understanding is what you also need. Ask him not to push you and if he refuses to wait break up with him and don't be afraid that he can tell someone. You can even blackmail and say that if he tells someone this story you'll tell that he has tiny penis and that's why you dumped him;)
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