From the day we found out we were expecting, I have been toeing the line of deciding if I even wanted to be a mom. My uncertainty of whether or not I would cut it as a mom, coupled with the up close and personal relationship I have made with every toilet I have been with arms reach of, has made the first 10 weeks very difficult. I've found myself crying in my husbands arms telling him I've changed my mind and I don't want to do this after violently vomiting for a half hour on my hands and knees in the shower because I ate red meat the night before. I can't be around food, or cook delicious meals for the people I love because the sight of it repulses me. I sleep through all of my alarms, I snap at people at work, and my poor husband has been deprived of my love because I have a serious case of the farts and I won't let him near me.