So I had known this guy for nearly 12 years. About 4 years ago he told me he liked me, and my feelings were mutual. We wanted different things in life, so we decided to remain just friends. The last time I talked to him was August of last year. Then, this year, in May, he was coming home from college. He asked me to hang out with him. So, we did, and of course one thing led to another and we ended up having sex. He was in a bad accident two days later that ultimately took his life. Flash forward until now, three missed periods later. I don't feel pregnant, and I feel like I would know seeing how it was two and a half months ago. I took a pregnancy test and it came up negative. I was relieved because honestly, I'm only 18 and personally I don't feel ready for a baby, especially when I would be raising it alone. But now, I can't help but think how nice it would've been to have that one last piece of him in my life. I'm sorry this is long and doesn't really have a point, I'm just so conflicted because I know I'm not ready for a baby but yet it would've been nice to have a little one to carry his last name...😔