Gender disappointment

Please dont hate me! I have 4 boys about to be 5 boys i love them with all my heart i was just hoping for a girl. Now a good friend of ours is having a girl first go and i have been dreaming and dying for a girl since after my first boy was born and each time finding out it was a boy it hurt a little more but after finding out our friend is having a girl i feel like dying. My heart wont stop hurting. I just wish this feeling would go away but i cant control it anymore. Im still happy to have my 5th boy but now my brain and body is telling me i should maybe starting looking at gender selection in a few years and see how we go then stop. Does anyone else feel like this or am i the only one coz i feel like im the only one.