I went into the hospital on Monday to start the induction process.i was 41w and 1d.they were incerting a balloon inside me to soften my cervix and help me dilate.i had been at a 1 for 5w by then.so we got the ball rolling and at 3 am on Tuesday they took the balloon out and I was dilated to a 5 and they started the pitocin.couldnt feel the contractions,but they were happening.my doctor came in around 8am and broke my amiotic fluid and we uped the pitocin.she told me that I needed to get up and walk to move my baby's head down more.i started to feel my contractions.well hours later after a very long time of being in labor I was making no progress.i finally begged to have the epidural,which turned out to be the best choice,my doctor came in after I got the epidural and told me that I was going to have to have a c section because after 12 hours I was not progressing at all.so we got me all ready and sent me to the OR.i was really upset because I had prepared myself for a vaginal delivery.a c section was never a part of my plan . unfortunately I still felt pain so they had to put me under and my husband had to leave the room.which had me extremely freaked out.i was terrified of having a c section . especially when I found out that I had to be put under.after my baby born was born at 6:18pm I had a hard time coming out of the anesthesia.i woke up saw my baby was born.went right back out woke up being asked if I was able to try to breastfeed,but I couldn't the nurses told me that if I couldn't wake up to feed my son he would have to be given formula,but they had to have my okay to do that.i felt tears coming down my face when I realized that I couldn't fees my son and needed to give him formula.i went right back out and woke up about an hour later and was finally able to hold my precious rainbow baby.i balled my eyes out while holding him for the first time.i could hardly speak because I hadn't had any fluids in hours,but I kept mumbling thank you Jesus he is alive.he is so perfect and I am so happy to have him in my arms.my doctor me what went wrong with my labor and apparently I will never have a vaginal birth because my pelvis is too small for a baby to pass through.i have so much respect for women who have a c section because this is hard.the recovery is so hard and takes a lot.moms who go through this are awesome and no less a woman for having to be cut open.it hurt me to be confined to a bed while others took care of my baby.i never realized how much strength walking took or even standing until I had to do it after a surgery.