wtf? am I right to be upset?

Question

So y boyfriend and I have a 5 month old together and he has two kids from a previous relationship. I've spend the summer taking care of them while he's at work as well as our baby daughter. We've been fighting a lot lately about stupid things... I guess neither of us feels very validated or appreciated these days. I've asked him repeatedly to try and be more thoughtful and he just doesn't seem to be able to. This morning I'm feeding our baby and he asks me if, in a few weeks when his kids are with their mom, if I could go by my moms for the weekend (about an hour away) so he can rest.

I'm so put off by this but also think maybe I'm overreacting because I've been a little short tempered lately. Is this not kinda fucked? I don't ever get any weekends off to rest. He's never up with the baby in the night and on the rare morning he will get up with her. I just feel like this is kinda bullshit

Answer

I'd understand if he said see if mom can watch baby so u both can rest n have alone time but he wants u both gone so he can rest? Wtf not normal at all.

Answer

I'd say he's being inconsiderate. He works and you've cared for the children. Sounds like you both could use a break.

Answer

I would suggest to him having your 5monthbold at your moms and you two having a weekend together to reconnect. It does wonders for a relationship.

Answer

This is not normal

Answer

Well, if I were you, next weekend I would pack up your stuff and the baby's stuff and go and see your mother.  Teach him a small and meaningful lesson.  Let him take care of his two kids for a couple of days.  He probably didn't understand the full implication of what he said. Essentially that he wants to use you for the next few weeks to take care of his kids but after that you've got to get out off of his hair because he's tired of you.  Sometimes you have to show guys with actions, not words because they just don't get it any other way.  You can tell him that his words are hurtful, but until he has reason to fear that they might have consequences he won't change them.

Answer

OMG if my husband said this to me he would be resting alright..... 6 foot under! I think this is disgusting. I would tell him very clearly how hurt you are by this but explain that you realise things are getting to you both.  Why not suggest your mum (or some else) come to watch the baby will you go on a date to the cinema or a meal once baby has been fed. Or maybe try the baby on an expressed bottle so you could go out longer?

Answer

Since leaving her with your mom isn't an option, my initial reaction is to think "he can have a break when we can BOTH have a fucking break." 
That said, knowing my guy, if he asked for something like that I'd know it was ultimately for US because he would be resting in order to be better to me and in your situation also the daughter. BUT if you don't think that would happen and he just wants to take a break for himself because he's sick of dealing with kids, that's not cool.
I'd say what you've got to do is really talk to him about what he's trying to achieve with the break and if none of it revolves around recharging so he can be better to you two, then maybe bring that up and ask why that isn't anywhere on his radar. IF IT IS, then I'd say talk it out, come up with clear expectations for when his break is over, and go to your mom's and have her help out AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE so you get as much of a break as you can right now.

wtf? am I right to be upset?

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