How do you do it? Get your baby to fall ASLEEP?

Question

Okay, so I have a very stubborn 3 1/2 month old who will not nap and now is resisting bedtime. How DO you actually get your bambino to FALL ASLEEP?

I have tried everything: routine; sleep sack,; minor crying it out; protesting it out; rocking; shushing; holding; bouncing; putting him to sleep awake, drowsy, sleeping; car rides; stroller rides; wraps; crib; sleeping in my bed beside me...  Nothing is working for us. We are even back tracking our sleep successes at night (he would go from 3-7 hours in a row).

As a FTM I have done a few things wrong like allowing him to fall asleep at the boob during the early days but he always just woke himself up anyway. Also I never "forced" naps before so he would be pretty much all day except for short cap naps (at the boob) and have started trying a nap routine the past few days...but it's not working. I know he is seriously overtired.

Basically, he protests for hours OR gets so upset that he screams for hours. I am not comfortable with a full cry-it-out so I pick him up after a set time and it can take him an hour to settle back down in my arms. The only thing he wants is the boob but even that doesn't keep him asleep. He almost falls asleep many times but then wakes himself up!

Help?! I have a great sleep routine (I got some causal tips from a sleep consultant) but can't get him to sleep. How do you literally get your baby to fall asleep not the routine you use... Thanks in advance!

Answer

The first priority should be to get him to sleep, period. Worry about sleep crutches later. Don't introduce any new ones if you can help it, but if nursing is the only thing that will get him to sleep, then nurse him! It sounds like you have a seriously overtired baby who isn't getting nearly enough sleep. Focus on one thing at a time.

Sleep training is super iffy at this age anyway. Some babies might take to it, but if you've tried a few things and they're not working, just let it go for a while

My best advice would be to try to get him to sleep as often as you can. No more than 90 minutes of wakeful time, absolute tops. Nurse or bottle if you have to, just make sure he sleeps at least a little bit every 90 minutes. That should get his little body used to a regular cycle of sleep and he may start falling asleep on his own more readily. That's exactly how it worked for my never-sleep baby! I started the 90 minute plan around 7 weeks, she very soon started sleeping through the night, and apart from wonder weeks and regressions, she takes regular naps and falls asleep very easily.

Not saying it'll work for every baby, but it's worth a try! Consistency is key. You're teaching him that sleep is a thing that happens at predictable intervals and in predictable ways, instead of the free-for-all he's doing right now. Do the same thing for every nap - same swaddle, sit in the same place if you can, lay him in the same place, etc. It's not about naps at scheduled times, it's about naps at regular intervals. Get his naps/day sleep sorted out, and it should drastically improve his night sleep. (Sleep begets sleep!) Then once he's used to napping regularly and through his developmental leap, THEN maybe start trying some gentle sleep training. But don't be disappointed if it still doesn't work. Many babies can't learn to self-soothe consistently until 6 months or later.

Sorry for the novel, hope this helps! Good luck!

Answer

Not sure of your baby's clock,  but my boy naps best if I get him to sleep after 1 hour to 1 hour and ten minutes of wake time.

I also use a wubba nub,  a little pacifier attached to a stuffed animal.  He loves it.

Before we got to our nap routine in his crib,  I would have to hold him at this perfect angle.

It was like,  if you lay on the couch and lay baby tummy down on you on a diagonal,  with his feet resting on your left hip.  His left arm tucked under your right so he can rest his head on your right bicep.  His head would face up towards me and I would put the pacifier in and rock!

That's the only way he napped for the first 3 months.  Now he goes in his crib or pack and play  in my office after 1 hour of wakefulness with the same routine.  He's awake,  happy,  lullaby music,  wubba nub, he's out within 10 minutes.

He fussed a lot at first.  But I only went in if he was actually crying (he's super vocal). When he did cry,  I'd pick him up,  calm him down and put him back.  Only once did it take his whole nap time.  Now he talks a little,  I come in and hand him his wubba nub again and he falls asleep.

But every baby is different! Hope you find your rhythm soon!

Here's a pic of him sleeping on me:

Answer

If he is used to sleeping on the boob, rocking, etc then it will take baby a while to get on that routine and be able to self soothe and fall asleep, try keeping wake time shorter and see if that makes a difference. I do eat, wake, sleep and follow babys cues and lay him down at his optimal wake time limit and he fusses for up t 10
Mins and goes to sleep. It may also be a grow spurt or leap.

Answer

Is baby wearing an option for you? Mine used to fall asleep fast in it and then I'd just sneakily take her out of it and put her down somewhere cozy

Answer

I've been following the Good Sleeper book. We put her down for a nap at the first sign of sleepiness (long stares, yawning, rubbing eyes) and try not to keep her up more than 90min at a time. She is swaddled and bounced to sleep in a dark room with a sound machine for naps and nights. We also make sure she goes to bed before 8pm (aiming for before 7:30).

Answer

We have been using our swing a lot lately for naps. He's started waking up after 10 min for naps and at night, and sometimes the only way we can get a longer stretch of sleep is in the swing! I hope I'm not creating a monster here but it's helping us survive for now. I usually swaddle and either rock or pat until he's asleep, then put him in the swing so he stays asleep for a while. Good luck! I know these sleep problems can make you crazy!

Answer

We've been really helped by a podcast and blog called Precious Little Sleep. It gives techniques for getting baby to fall asleep by themselves, which will inevitably lead to longer sleep all together.

Answer

I have a love to dream swaddle, and it's amazing! His arms are up next to his head, so he can't startle himself awake. I got mine on Amazon.

Answer

I had the same problem till my baby girl was 2 months old. I recommend you to download the Baby Sleep site app on Play Store. It's free. It teaches lots of things we don't know bout sleeping of baby in general. For example, I learned that if baby awakes often, she's just hungry so I make sure that when she wakes at night I put her against my boob and I nurse. Until she falls back asleep. I promise it works. It's tough at the beginning because it's kind of new routine... At that time, my baby woke like 6-7 times but after 1 week doing that, I saw results. And she wakes just twice and nursing makes her fall asleep rapidly. And now I can sleep well too. It literally saved my life!

Answer

I didn't do anything for 3 days besides focus on sleep. Basically from the second after he burped I was trying to get him back to sleep. I have a totally different baby now & I don't keep him awake for more than 45 minutes at a time or were back to square one! Good luck 💕

How do you do it? Get your baby to fall ASLEEP?

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