Am I being a shitty friend?

Question

Ive been talking to this guy named Chris for about a week. I found out that he dated one of my friends two years ago. He broke up with her because she wouldn't tell her parents about them and the only time they hung out was at night when she snuck out. I talked to her today and asked if she'd be okay with me and him talking and she said no. She got very upset and starting talking shit about him. Is it wrong of me to continue talking to him? I like him so far and would love to get to know him better!

Answer

If you value her friendship you wouldn't continue it. It'd be very shitty of you to continue knowing she's not okay with it

Answer

Honestly I think the whole "Don't go for your friends ex" thing is bullshit. They're an ex for a reason so tbh it shouldn't matter if you like them or not. I can understand if your friend and her boyfriend had been together for a few months or longer and had broken up say, 2 weeks ago. But 2 years? They obviously aren't getting back together so I think it's perfectly acceptable to talk to him. If she has something against it then maybe she has feelings for him still and needs to talk to him about it to get closure. 2 years is a long time, just because he's your friends ex doesn't mean you can't like him.

Answer

It's not like they broke up on her terms. She probably really liked him and is still upset from when they broke up. I can see why she'd be upset with you and why you'd be a jerk for talking to him still (if I'm being honest, not to make you feel bad). I'd just keep getting to know him and make sure I talked to my friend about it more to make sure she was actually comfortable with it or see if she could eventually be comfortable with us becoming a thing if I really liked him

Answer

I can see why she might be upset because she might still have feelings for him but if you like him a lot and that's your friend she should be happy for you but if you and the guy get closer definitely don't tell her everything you do with him because it'll probably lowkey make her upset but you're ok it was 2 years ago.

Answer

I mean it was 2 years ago, but ask her if she would be upset with you or think any differently of you. They don't even really have to talk to each other, just keep them separate. I think you're a good friend for asking her and taking her feelings into consideration.

Am I being a shitty friend?

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