her fiancé cheated, now what?

Question

About a month ago, my friend found out her fiancé has been cheating on her by connecting with women through a video game streaming community. She and I are not super close but she has been leaning on me for support. I'm more than happy to be there for her but twice now she has called me in a panic saying she's determined to leave him, and asks for my help to move her out of the apartment. Both times, I have let her know that I am on my way and (both times!) she has texted me in ALL CAPS: "Dont come. I'll call you." What scares me is she never calls, like she promised, so I have no idea what is really going on or why she decided to stay with him. I'm worried he might be controlling her (I am also worried she might be lying to me) so, once, I threatened to show up at their apartment If I didn't hear from her. Because of that, She did call me and then promised to do lunch but has repeatedly rescheduled. I'm really hurt that she keeps taking advantage of me but I'm also really, really scared for her well bring! Do any of you have advice? How can I get my friend to be honest with me about what's going on without putting her in an uncomfortable position?

Answer

For me it was like an end to the fighting when the welfare check up came to the door. It took me awhile 2 years to finally leave for good. But knowing that an officer could show up any minute eased my mind on bad nites. I knew they would help me get out safe.

Answer

You could ask the police for a welfare check on her if you think he may be abusing her. I was in an abusive relationship and my mom would send them to check on me so i could have a way out if I needed it. She may not be ready to leave him for good yet. It's a very hard thing to understand if it hasn't happened to you. Be patient try to keep being thrre for her but she also needs to understand the drama eventually has to end.

Answer

Omg you are a sweet friend 😘

Answer

I duno what to tell you. She is more than likely being mentally and emotionally abused. There may be some sort of physical abuse going on too. I mean, I would put an entire bank account balance on it if anyone wants to take bets. You can chose to cut her off and take it personally or you can research what she might be going through right now. I remember my ex would tell me that if I left he would kill himself but not before writing a letter telling everyone it was my fault. He also would threaten to hurt my family and friends if I left. When it came time to hanging out with friends, even for lunch or coffee he would blow my phone up every 10-15 minutes telling me that if I didn't come home right away my dogs would be dead or he would be swinging from the light fixture. Etc etc etc. you don't know what's going on... I would say she probably doesn't know what to do right now.

Answer

Honestly sounds like she's attention seeking and just wants someone to feel bad for her and could careless what your opinion is.

Answer

My bestfriend married a man who we both knew was cheating on her....she is still with him...through the cheating, STDs, & violence.

After 7 years, I finally told her that I think she deserves better (I struggled tremendously because I didn't want to push her away)....guess what? She cut ME off. She questioned our entire friendship...a 15 year friendship. We were like family. She broke my heart.

Now we speak once or twice a month...only if she calls.

Answer

I would wash my hands with her. You cannot help anyone unless they can help themselves. She obviously wants to stay with this man so let her. I think if you keep pushing she'll push you away. You did all that you can do for her. God bless you for all the help you gave her and being a good friend. You can still support her but do it from a far..but I wouldn't get super involved in her mess. That's just my opinion. GL

Answer

You already said you're not super close. She probably thinks that if she leans on someone close to her, they'll blow her of because she's not committed to leaving. With you, she can keep coming back, mostly because you're allowing it. If it was serious, she'd find a close friend.

Answer

Don't get involved. My old friend did me the same way. Her husband hurt her she called me for support I got involved and now she doesn't speak to me anymore. If I were you if she reached out I'll support but if you try to lend a hand and she keeps avoiding you leave it alone cause it will backfire.

her fiancé cheated, now what?

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