My first love reached out. And I'm confused but also am not.. thoughts?

Ok, so I'm not sure exactly why I'm posting this anonymously but.. why not.?

So, there is a man I've been speaking with for a couple of weeks. The catch is.. we have a history when we were younger. To be honest the man was my first love. I have to say obviously I still have feelings for the guy because he's done me wrong several times and yet.. we still have reconnected.. (I'll get to that later.)

Now this man is married. Currently he stays in hotels/motels because he says he is getting a divorce. Now.. back story.. he and I had a complicated relationship at first back in the day.. family didn't know and so on. And then when they found out things shifted.. sort of for the better. I'd say. But along the way he showed up with another woman and eventually got her pregnant therefore he thought he needed to stay with her and left me out in the wind.. now I'm heartbroken. Fast forward a little bit.. our families lose contact because we've moved but he finds a way to reach out to me. Long story short.. I fall back into his sorry's, an let me see you and whatnots so I go see the guy.! I mean why not your not with her. I'm single your single let's see what happens. Well peeps.. this fool wasn't single.. I go to "his" place and turns out .. he's living with another lady I know he has said he dated not is dating.. I go in and hang out with him but turns out he wanted sex. While the woman he is currently dating is in the house.. I wasn't into it so I left. I left in such a hurry I didn't care about him trying to explain anything. I mean lying to me is one of the worst things someone can do. It's been done to almost all my life and I've always forgiven and never stayed mad at anyone. I just can't stay mad! But believe me I do not forget.

So after I yell, curse him out via text and whatnot I change my number and block him from everything we talked on..

Fast forward again and this time he is married to the woman who he was dating before and he says he's not happy, he's sorry for everything and things are WAY different this time he has a lawyer and hopefully will be divorced soon.

Now as much as my heart beats fast for this man and as much as my gut is telling me this is what I want. It's something like my brain is telling me it's not, My heart has some say in that as well. I have very strong opinions on marriage and I've told him that I hope he talks to her and sees it through. My heart aches when I say this but there's no way I could ever or would ever want this to happen to me or someone else. I'm perfectly capable of being friends because we have been the best of friends even through all the crap. So if he can now come to his senses that I'm the one he wants after all this time.. he needs to evaluate EVERYTHING to make sure.

Now I don't know what I'm really expecting of the answers from this.. or maybe I wanted an anonymous public diary but any thoughts will be appreciated. I've been through enough to know what I want and or will stand for and to know how to keep everything controlled but I'm not sure. So I guess this just leaves thoughts to y'all!! Lol

Update there is one person who knows about this but she has been with a married man and the fact that I won't even fathom that idea is not something I want her to think I'd judge her for. Mistakes happen and in her eyes I know She's sorry about it. But when I say that I've spoken to him about nothing happening until I see divorce papers she gives me this look like she's thinking of her past!

So that's where other voices come in..

Thanks peeps!

****UPDATE

His wife and I know about each other. She has went through his phone and contacted me back in the day when I went over and didn't know they were together and again recently when she found out we were in contact again. She knows the same thing I know except that he wants a divorce. I've encouraged him to speak with her about it but he says he's serious about leaving her he just remembers what happened the last time he tried to leave. (She tried or did cut herself and threw things and so on.) He feels she's unstable and for me I feel for better or worse you gotta talk it out. Right? But he's already at the point where he has moved all of his things out. He says in a couple of weeks he'll have his own place and be out of the hotel. ***