First ultrasound of rainbow baby following 5 miscarriages

So guys, tomorrow I am scheduled for my first ultrasound with my rainbow baby. I'm approx 8-10 weeks based off my calculations and I am a hot mess! I have dealt with 5 previous miscarriages, two of which were back to back the beginning of this year. Throughout this entire pregnancy I have faced a lot of challenges...my husband and I split, moving out into my mothers home, a bad car accident where I was t-boned going at a high speed, and my father just passing two weeks ago...and I just think this child actually has a chance of surviving bc I've already been through so much and they're holding on strong (no spotting, cramping, or any other signs of distress). But as happy as I try to be and as badly as I want this child, I can't find myself getting attached until I hear and see a heartbeat. I've went through so much seeing empty sacs with no heartbeats I just can't face it another time. I guess I'm not really asking anything in particular I'm just trying to hear some hopeful stories or experiences that could comfort my nerves some or let me know that what I'm feeling is normal.